Dear Jerkface,
Chill the eff out already! Just because you were being quiet and nobody was talking about you for five minutes does not mean that you need to freak out and start shouting "Hey everybody, look at me! 100 degrees-- BAM!" What are you three years old?
Why can't you be more like Seattle's weather, huh? Seattle's weather never makes these kinds of pathetic grabs for attention (although it is kind of a crybaby, har har.)
Weather, the worst part about this tantrum you're having is that you're leaving me no choice but to talk about it. You're consuming our daily lives with it. It's summertime-- can't we all just relax by the wading pool with some sun tea?
Looking forward to the return of your sanity (and mine),
Maren
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